1. Arise my tenderest thoughts, arise;
To torrents melt my streaming eyes.
Is this about sin? Go to 2.
Is this about your feelings? Go to 3.
2. And you, my heart with anguish feel
Those evils which you can not heal.
Is the you in this you? Go to 4.
Is the you implying Jesus? Go to 5.
3. And oh how bad I feel
Help me Jesus take the wheel
Is this bordering on plagiarism? Yes, go to 6
Is this bordering on plagiarism? No, go to 5
4. See human nature sunk in shame;
See scandals poured on Jesus name;
Is this getting a little dark for worship? Yes, go to 8
Is this getting a little dark for worship? No, go to 7.
5. Chorus: Heal me, help me, you love me
I need you, because you love me
Do the drums get louder here? Go to 9.
Do you simply repeat? Go to 5.
Is there more? Go to 10.
6. Good work you have recognized the error of your ways. But for good measure you should go re read the section on Man in the Sate of Sin by Berkhoff Systematic Theology pages 219-261.
7. The Father wounded through the Son;
The world abused, and souls undone.
This is upsetting because? Our sin is deeply shameful. Go to 11.
This is upsetting because? It is painting me in a rather bad light. Go to 5
8. That name that tells me I am free
Oh happy days he dies for me.
Do you feel better? Yes, go to 5.
Do you feel better? “I feel like I am getting into a loop here” Go to 12.
9. Love me, with the love that you have for me, I know you love me.
Go to. 13
10. Like waters washing over me
Like rivers pouring forth,
Are there more water metaphors? Yes, go to 17.
Are there more water metaphors? No, go to
11. My God, I feel the mournful scene;
My bowels yearn over dying men;
“I can feel the weight of this.” Go to 20.
“Whoah whoah whoah! This is church we my sing slightly erotic songs about Jesus here but there is a line and ‘bowels’ crosses it.” Go to
12. Chorus: Heal me, help me, you love me
I need you, because you love me
Do you simply repeat? Go to 16.
Is there more? Go to 14.
13. That happy name I long to say
Raise your hands back and forth to sway.
Go to 8.
14. (Insert music “ministers” improvised sermonette where he commits light heresy)
Go to 15
15. Chorus: HEAL ME, HELP ME, YOU LOVE ME
I NEED YOU, BECAUSE YOU LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Do you recant your foolishness? Yes, Go to 19.
Do you recant your foolishness? No, Go to 9
16. Chorus: Heal me, help me, you love me
I need you, because you love me
Do you repeat ad infinitum? Yes, Go to.
Is there more? Yes, Go to. 13 (good luck finding your way out of this cycle!)
17. As oceans swell above my head
I drown in your sweet sweet grace.
Go to 15.
18. On dry land I walk with you
Till I feel your lifting arms.
Go to 15.
19. (Here endeth the song) I hope you have seen the error of your ways. Now go read Joel Beeke on Public Worship in his excellent tome A Puritan Theology.
20. And fain my pity would reclaim,
And snatch the firebrands from the flame.
Who is snatching firebrands here? Jesus, go to 16.
Who is snatching firebrands here? Me, go to 21.
21. But feeble my compassion proves,
And can but weep where most it loves
“I can’t help but feel this is not about me.” Go to 22
“Final stretch let’s go! Go to 23.
22. You came so close! But no cigar. The point of worship is Jesus. Not you. Repent ye therefore and be converted.
23. Thy own all-saving arm employ,
And turn these drops of grief to joy.
Go to 25.
25. Well done! You have just completed the little known hymn Mourning over Transgressors by the great Congregationalist (And contemporary of Edwards) Phillip Doddridge; slightly edited from Spurgeon’s Own Hymn Book. Don’t you feel edified having completed a song that is both richly orthodox and pleasantly absent from individualistic navel gazing. I know I do.
Southern Reformed Smoker 