By the Hammer of Christmas 2.0

Editors Note: It being the week of Christmas I am posting a shorter article for all five of you to snicker at then go back to spending time with the actual human beings who are with you. You can read the previous installment here.

It has been a couple of years since I have waxed eloquent on the subject of Christmas and my local watering hole, Hammer & Ale. Happily very little has changed, which suits me just fine. The tables have been moved some and my new “spot” is about five feet from my old spot. But technically it is back to my old, old spot where I originally sat with a better view out the window than behind the bar. I am fine with this change, as it is more of a return to form. 

The weather continues unseasonably warm, which is an improvement over last week which was miserably cold. David is loath to turn on the heat here and as fun as it is to watch snow fall while I write the rest of the experience is a cruel joke. Cold beer, cold air, and I seem to have the only Apple laptop that does not generate the kind of heat that could fry an egg, or warm my fingers while I type.

I should say something about Christmas. Kevin has done his usual all out decorating including all of the hand cut snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. Including the one that is the symbol of the Galactic Empire, and the naughty ones. This is all made more festive by The Obnoxious Dwarf who is holding forth at the bar with his usual monologue. I suppose a dwarf is a poor man’s Christmas elf. He is still upset over the Rings of Power which only makes me want to see he and David (who is Elvenlike in form) in a rock smashing contest. Or possibly a beer can crushing contest.

I have vanquished the Horrible Woman from my spot after a year of battle. We now have a grudging respect for one another. She for me because of my prowess at planting in one spot for hours on end and I for her because it turns our she is a surgeon at St. Jude. I kind of feel like a heel now. Anyway she is sucking face with Kramer under the mistletoe snowflake. Kramer is another regular and they are now an item. It’s gross.

I should address that I still do not know everyone’s names, so I have assigned them nicknames. I think it is endearing and festive.

My brother-in-law works at the new brewery across the street. That is healthy for him. He drinks there all day then comes here to procrastinate about his child that will be born in a month. I should probably check on how my sister is doing…

So Christmas a holly jolly time where The Obnoxious Dwarf comes in to share the gift of Rona with all of us. He is pretty jolly for someone with no voice, perhaps he is no longer contagious. Why do I feel a tickle in my throat. Another round should fix that. A Christmas round that makes any disease a holly jolly time!

Last time I said that this place was my Cheers. And while I have really doubled down on the Norm and his spot theme there have not been any must see TV worthy shenanigans. However, I conclude with gratitude for the colorful cast of characters that make my time here such a blessing. It seems odd to be thanking God for a taproom but here I sit, I can do no other. So thanks be to God for a lovely place and the people around me: Skylar, Michael, Jesse, Robyn, David, Kevin, Mike, The (Apparently Not) Horrible Woman, Toothless Bike Guy, The Board-gaming Couple, Kramer, and Old Mike.

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