Your World as I See It: Go Go I Would not Wish You Back Again

Editors Note: This is this is a continuation of a series within the impromptus section. I call it, Your World as I See it by Astor Clement. Similar to Doug Wilsons No Quarter November, I will, under the pseudonym, be offering my unvarnished opinions at will. As to that nome de plume, if you are a child of the 90’s the Jim Varney reference will be clear.

I am tired of being lumped in with the Crazies. And I am tired of being told that these people are our “brothers” when they manifestly are not. As Mark Driscoll used to say, “I’m praying to Jesus you are praying to Satan, this is not a conference call!”

The problem arrises when the categories used by media, both secular and christian, are as broad as they are. Hence why we at told things like Evangelical Christians are the largest voting block for Republicans. Which I suppose is in a general sense right. But it begins to break down when say a bunch of stupid people and Pentecostals aggressively tour the capital carrying confederate flags and Bibles. We get told that this all Evangelical Christians think this way. The only time distinctions are made is if extra negative connotations can be heaped up with words like straight, white, and male. So for political reasons I think we need to loudly shout the distinction between the Evangelical and the Pentecostal. If other groups (Mainline Protestant, Catholic, African American Protestant, etc.) get their own carve outs we need to start demanding one. Let the loony toons have their Jericho marches and we can roll our eyes and be glad that we aren’t in the same boat as Kenneth Copeland any longer.

This has the additional advantage of removing from our intramural discussions an enormous amount of baggage of people who heavily disagree with our doctrines but couldn’t articulate why if it bit them in the face. They can go off as the blind leading the blind and we can evangelize them from a place of not having to pretend that they are obviously already saved. There are a lot of cults in Pentecostalism, there is a lot of idolatry of pastors and politicians, there is a lot of worship of emotion and no spiritual fruit. There is a lot of people getting “healed” by Hinn coattails because they wrote a check. Why we keep accepting that we are alike is beyond me, it just seems like we are giving the devil(or media) a stick to hit us upside the head with.

Here is the kicker for me, pretty much all reformed people agree with this, but they won’t say it. Our theology shows that pentecostals are wrong, but we don’t seem to have the courage of our convictions to be honest. Rather than being able to roll our eyes because the dim and dispensational are making fools of themselves on the governments front lawn. We shake in our boots and hope Russ Moore makes it all better with some self flagellation of an article on how we need to be more winsome and anyone who voted for a particular orange man is going to hell. This is absurd behavior. And bear in mind it is not as if the Pentecostals are dying to be lumped in with us. They think we are uptight stodgy sorts and don’t like it when we bang on the ceiling with a broom for them to pipe down. And we want different things, they mostly seem happy to just vote republican for some platitudes. We actually want our representatives to represent us. Which we will not get if we are not a distinctive voice. 

So as Elizabeth Bennett would say, “Go, go, I would not wish you back again.”

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